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Yes, seemingly happy spouses divorce too

The common perception of divorce is something ugly between two unhappy people. It can be because of physical or emotional abuse, it can be over one of the partners cheating on the other, or it could even be that you or your partner simply "gave up."

And while there are absolutely more than a few divorces where this is the case, at the same time there are more than enough divorces where none of these issues come up. Amazingly enough, these people got a divorce, even though they were stable and happy.

Why people end a relationship with a "great person"

There are a multitude of reasons why people divorce a person who is "great on paper," but not great for them. For instance:

  • What if only one of you wants to have kids at this time?
  • What if you have a powerful emotional connection with your partner, but not a physical one (or vice versa)?
  • What if you love your partner with all of your might, but problems with your career prevent you from being together?
  • What if your partner is someone you love quite a bit, but feel that they are moving faster or slower in life in terms of career, family or other reasons than you are comfortable with?

In some of these cases it is less that people get divorced because they are unhappy and more that they became unhappy because they stayed together.

Staying in an unfulfilling marriage can cause problems too

To a lot of people, a happy couple getting a divorce seems like such a waste, especially if they place a high value the sanctity of marriage. It can unnatural, unexplainable or unbelievable. What can seem great on from the outside, might not work. Does it have to be a disaster to justify divorce?

Think about the situation above, where a couple may be friends but not have physical intimacy. It can cause emotional stress and strain long term.

Think about the situation in which a person loves the other and values the happiness of their partner, feeling as though their relationship is preventing the other from leading a fulfilling life. For instance, when your career keeps you in Florida but your partner has to live in New York to have their dream job. When you don't have children in the picture, you may not think it is right for either of you to sacrifice on that level.

Sometimes, forcing a relationship to continue under these circumstances can be precisely why people become unhappy in a marriage in the first place. In the end, one of the best outcomes to a divorce is that the people involved can all still like each other and enjoy each other's company. If the relationship is given the opportunity to fester and fall apart, the once happy couple could find themselves losing what was once a great friendship.

No matter what happens, you should not allow stigmas surrounding divorce to keep you from it, especially if you value a continued platonic relationship with your partner. Love doesn't always conquer all, you still have to make tough decisions and work at marriage. It is ok if divorce is the answer that will bring about the best solution.

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