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Still want to 'take walks' with your ex after divorce?

The goal of every divorce is not the same. Sure, the common thread is that couples want to end their marriages, but not all couples want to end their relationships. There are those who split up and would prefer to never talk again. There are those who are somewhere else on the relationship spectrum who worry about protecting their bond with an ex.

Why did you get married?

You probably chose to marry your spouse because you liked them. Maybe you both made each other laugh and had similar senses of humor. Maybe you shared passions and hobbies or had meaningful discussions about politics that engaged you in ways you don't want to lose. Maybe you both challenged and encouraged each other and were overall positive influences in the other's life.

These characteristics of your relationship might not be memories of the past. They could still exist, and they are great. They can exist even within a marriage that you or your spouse wants to end. If you fit into this description of a couple who wants to protect your friendship, you are not alone - and you have divorce options that can help foster a friendly future.

Do you lack passion but not friendship and loyalty?

In a New York Times piece, a woman eloquently shares elements about her marriage and divorce. She explains how it was no big fight, disagreement or even dislikes within her marriage that led to her divorce. She and her ex simply lacked passion for each other. They had basically become 'roommates,' friends who shared a home and family. She wanted more but also didn't want to lose the friendship she still appreciated with her ex.

After a 20-year marriage, the couple was able to divorce in a way that allowed them to remain friendly. She says, "We like each other and always have." They still have regular walks and meals together and catch up on the other's life. To those looking in on their relationship, it looks like little has changed between the exes. But a divorce has taken place, nonetheless.

Do you want to remain friends with your ex?

This is important to ask yourself if you are considering divorce. The divorce process could take a damaging toll on your relationship. Issues such as property division and child custody, for example, can result in fear, worry and hostile negotiations. If your post-divorce goal is to be friends with your ex, then an alternative such as collaborative divorce could be right for you.

In a collaborative divorce, both you and your spouse have your own attorneys, but court arguments take the form of conversations outside of court. It's a lower-stress family law option that utilizes teamwork and creativity to result in a beneficial divorce arrangement, as well as a protected bond between you and your ex.

There are various benefits of collaborative divorce. These are the most obvious pros about the alternative:

•· Less stress than traditional process

•· Less hostility protects children's emotions

•· Legal matters kept private

Our attorneys at Tannenbaum Law Group are experienced in collaborative law and respect why you and your spouse might want to go down that road. Please contact us to learn more about the process and how it might help your family build a different but still healthy, happy and even friendly future.

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